Self Love in 15 steps.

Hello everyone, hope you guys have had a lovely night last night, so since yesterday was Happy Valentines day my inspiration for writing this morning is, Love, yep that's right love but not any ole love, Self Love, because we all want and desire love however we all don't or misunderstand how to achieve that Love, especially myself.

We've all heard the benefits of self-love and we know that self-love is something we need. The real question is how. How can we learn to love ourselves? How do we cultivate that deep, loving relationship with self?

Being human we all face this challenge and quite often we misinterpret and misunderstood with the things that we choose to do to achieve what we think is self love, some people can misunderstand this by being selfish rather than selfless, Quotation · True love is selfless love - putting the needs of the other person ahead of your own but, in this case your self ahead of your self, make sense? when we speak to ourselves who are we talking to? that self is the self that needs to express its love for itself.

The great thing about self love is, when you start to smile at yourself in the mirror because you're beginning to remember that I love you, the things that we love to express that love through begin to show up in our lives. 

So what happens?, why does these things not work out?. the way I see it is, we have a tendency to sabotage our success in whatever it is that's showing up because our made up insecurtites pop up and tell is we don't deserve this .

And so we fall back into self hate.

Here's the thing, for me changing our self talk, having a healthy understanding of how to achieve self love is quite important, and here's how it looks to me, self love wont necessarily happen over night, anythings possible but you know, we are human and we will always get tricked by our minds and fall into the misunderstanding of the inside out nature and believe that our feelings are coming from something or someone other than the principle of thought in the moment. 

So here are a few things that work for me.

1. Giving yourself time. Giving yourself time in the morning  to do whatever you desire to do can give you such a great start to your day and you will love you for it, just like 30 minutes or an hour. I might sit for half hour in quietness and just let every thing flow, and other mornings which is most mornings I put on some music, now, here's something I should add, its no good in during this time you decide to beat yourself up saying negative things to yourself, like I use to say things like I'm wasting my time I should be getting ready for work, oh my god what am thinking speaking things with a negative emotion attached to it. 

This only harms you, so think nice thoughts and if that's a challenge don't try to escape it just transmute the energy to something that will aid to your good feel place like this morning, I was listening to music and Jessi Royal came on which added to my inspired written composition hahaha, when you finish reading have a listen this song it's called Blowing in the wind, https://youtu.be/FuzAqyVPOHM.

2. Exercise. Here's thing that we often have a misunderstanding of, if your anything like me, you probably work long days and sometimes 7 days, when we get home were tired we gotta cook dinner maybe clean a little sort stuff out for work check emails etc etc etc, I aint got time to go the gym I just have no energy, I hear that however the funny thing about exercise is the more consistently you exercise over a period of time the more energy we begin to have and our days begin to feel that much easier as we move through it.  Maybe take that me time to the gym and kill 2 birds with one stone it can be very therapeutic to work.

3. Buy something for yourself. You know it took a while for me to actually buy myself something and what I mean is something to reward yourself for all the hard work you put in after a long week in the office or out, I might buy myself a bottle of my fav red wine and some cake or olives and cheese now, here's the what I'm getting at for me sitting down and just embracing the moment of enjoyment as I give myself a glass of wine for instance, in that moment a feeling of exhaling gratefulness and happiness happens and I smile and say thank you.

4. Be mindful: Being mindful first starts as a conscious effort, however the more we practice being mindful the more self love we will feel,  Often people who have more self-love tend to know what they think, feel and want. Why is that? well one habit of highly motivated and successful people is the art of creating that good feel feeling first, then the attraction of like energy pulls in whatever they need to support that feeling. So be more mindful.

5. Where clothes that you absolutely enjoy wearing no matter how farfetched it may be :). Some of us misunderstand this thing of self love and I am going to add Freedom to it, you may work in an office which working culture promotes to wear a suit or a uniform, my take on this is if that's so then when you get home wear what ever you feel to wear and feel good in it. Look at yourself in the mirror and dance to whatever music you can out in at the moment which funny enough brings me to my next thing that I do.

6. Dance like no one is watching, Dancing is so uplifting and free, when you let go and just dance you get a feeling inside of total freedom, when you choose to just ride the waves and vibrations of music and it will make you smile so let go and dance.

7. Commit
Be 150 percent committed to your journey to self-love. No excuses. Make self-love a major priority in your life and treat it as such. Don’t let anything get in the way of you and your relationship with self.

8. Forgive
How can you expect to move forward in your life if you’re being weighed down by anger and resentment? It’s simple. You can’t. It’s time to forgive. Forgive yourself, and forgive others. You’re not condoning their behavior when you forgive other people for their wrongdoings, you’re simply giving yourself permission to let go and move on. This is a tough step, but a very mandatory one.

9. Take Back Your Power
Drop the victim mentality and take ownership of your life. No more pointing the finger at others or blaming your circumstances. It’s time to own up and take control. The moment you take ownership is the moment you gain back the power to create change.

10. Let go
Let go of anything that is not serving you in the highest good. This includes relationships, friendships, habits… Get rid of all that is holding you back. This step can ignite feelings of loneliness, but that will pass. Replace toxic people with good people; replace destructive habits with good habits.

11. Surround Yourself With Good
Immerse yourself within the company of uplifting people; people who serve you in the highest good. Surround yourself with people who truly love you, support you, and respect you. If you don’t have those people around you, find them. Seek them out and don’t stop until you do.

12. Practice Self-Compassion
Go easy on yourself. Instead of being your toughest critic, be your own best friend. Talk to yourself the way you want to be talked to. Treat yourself the way you want to be treated. And continue to forgive yourself along the way.

13. Take Care of Your Needs
Do what you need to do to take care of your needs yourself. No more waiting for others to fulfill those needs—you can do this. Honor your needs as they arise and don’t push them aside for any excuse.

14. Set Healthy Boundaries
Boundaries are incredibly good for you. They protect your needs and honor your worth. Never hesitate to set healthy boundaries. A tip to help you recognize when a boundary needs to be set is to listen to your intuition. If an interaction feels icky, a line has been crossed. Take that as a sign that you need to set a boundary.

15. Commit to Daily “LoveHabits”
Daily acts of self-love (“LoveHabits”) are a beautiful way to show yourself the love, respect, and level of care that you truly desire. Plus, they make you feel really good. Select LoveHabits that work well for you—habits that feel uplifting, regenerative, and/or energizing. The key is to unapologetically commit to daily LoveHabits.

Self-love is your divine responsibility. When you commit to a deep, loving relationship with self, your entire life will positively shift in the most incredible ways. Follow these 15 steps to cultivate self-love and live a life that truly honors your highest good.


There are so much more things we can do to encourage self love however these 15 are a good start and achievable within weeks to turn into habits if done daily, of course no3 you don't have to buy yourself something daily that one is more once a week type thing as a reward.slash pat on the back. Our goal isn't the end result, our goal is to be consistent.

We all struggle with these things so your not alone, and if you ever feel the need to talk these out feel free to send me a message we can have a talk.

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