First Seven Seconds

Did you know that in the first seven seconds people often decide whether they do or don’t want to hear what you have to say. 

It may not be fair – but it’s a fact. 

 

I was reading another article about this and it prompt me to write this one myself.  At the end of the day it shouldn't really matter what people think about you however we are all human and it only works one way so, getting tricked by our inside out misunderstanding of where our feelings are coming from plays a big part in the way we live and choose to conduct our lives, knowing this, its always good to be prepared.

 

In How to Talk So People Listen, communication expert Sonya Hamlin says when it comes to hearing and seeing, sight is the more important and powerful sense. She writes: ‘We remember 85 to 90 per cent of what we see, but less than 15 per cent of what we hear, try to be an active listener. Countless numbers of people have lost sales opportunities, ruined job interviews, or been turned down for dates because their appearance didn’t match someone else expectations. 

 

Here's a great way to start things ask your family and friends if you’re inclined to display nonverbal cues that capture their attention and take the focus off what you’re trying to communicate.’ One pastor says: ‘I never realized how many nonverbal mistakes I was making until I saw myself on video. Now it’s my regular practice to go back and watch myself to determine not only what I said, but also how I said it. The tape doesn’t lie. 

 

Great actors can tell a story without saying a word, simply by using facial expressions. And whether you are aware of it or not, you convey a message by the expression on your face. Even people who pride themselves on ‘playing with a poker face’, and on their ability to not let other people know what they’re really thinking, convey an unspoken message of detachment. And that makes meaningful connections with other people. 

 

If your face is going to ‘talk’ – and it is – make sure you’re communicating the right thing, here are 8 things that people decide within seconds of meeting you, 

 

1. Within seconds of meeting you people make a decision as to whether you trustworthy or not

2. People decide whether your high status by the clothes you wear, so if your wearing name brand clothes they will see you as higher status then if you wore non-brand clothes.

3. People decide whether you straight or gay within one twentieth of a second of meeting you there is still quite a big stigma around this topic.

4. People perceive you as more intelligent if you look them in the eye when speaking, wearing thick glasses and speaking expressively helps to. 

5. Success, people view you as more successful if you are wearing tailored clothes rather than ill fitting ones. 

6. Dominant, people see bald headed men as more dominant than men with hair. 

7. If your promiscuous, people perceive woman with tattoos as less attractive, heavier drinkers and more promiscuous than woman with out. But this comes more from a stereotypical thinking of woman.

 

These things are not the final decider for even after the first 7 seconds of meeting, people's judgements can change as we realize that we have gotten it wrong. This use to happen to me quite often until I started training myself to put a halt on my prejudgments every time I met someone new. I still prejudge, its hard not to however I do it less and I curve it quicker as it begins.

Here's the thing, understanding where your feelings are coming from will help you see through this thing called prejudgment because our feelings are being generated from the principle of thought in the moment, and this will play out in your life as in everyone's life from moment to moment in different areas of our lives where we struggle, the beauty if it is if you have even a little understanding of this it will help you see yourself through this things called prejudgement.

We all struggle with this inside out misunderstanding so if you recognize this your not alone drop me a email and we can talk about it see how it plays itself out in different areas of your life 

and mine to be frank.

Truly caring for you.

aceabatutor@gmail.com