One Thing Real Love Never does to you
This morning as I'm at the gym doing my almost daily grind :), Im thinking about my partner and just thinking about things real love never does to you. What does that even mean!!
I came across this article from one of my emails and as I read it, it was as though it was coming from me, that meant I resonated with what it was saying.
Id like to share it with you enjoy.
They thought they possessed her. They thought she was theirs. Because she was in their arms, so delicate and sweet. But really she possessed them. Because she possesses the space in front of the mirror. And the moments that occur there too.
She gazes down at the man lying naked in her bed. But he’s not just another man. For the first time in years, this one sleeps differently. With a subtle smile, a dash of poise, and a history free of envy. And she smiles and giggles to herself.
Just then, he stirs, slowly lifts his head, squints his eyes, and looks at her standing across the room, naked in front of the mirror. His movement startles her and she jumps. Not because he sees her naked, but because she isn’t ready for him to be awake. Not yet.
This is her time, the early morning, when the world is quiet and she can hear the sound of her own breathing. It’s a sacred time when answers and insights aren’t as hard to come by. A time when her mind is at peace and her heart beats slower. And it begins beating slower again. Because he closes his eyes and falls back asleep.
She slips on her robe, tiptoes into the kitchen, pours coffee grounds and water into the coffee maker, places two slices of bread in the toaster, and opens the window curtains. The warm, early morning sun floods into her home. A few minutes later, the toaster pops. She spreads strawberry jam on the toast, pours a cup of coffee, opens the front door, and sits down on the doorstep.
And she thinks about how happy she is. Happy to simply be. To be free. To not be tied down by another person or have another person tied down by her. She stares up at the morning sky for a prolonged moment and smiles.
“I’m in love,” she says aloud.
He listens as she giggles, slips on her robe, tiptoes into the kitchen, and rattles the toaster, the coffee maker, and the curtains. He loves these little noises… Noises he calls music.
Like the music of last night, when they talked and laughed for hours over a bottle of wine. Until unexpectedly, she kissed him. And then he kissed her back. Because of her philosophy and her beauty.
She took off his shirt. He took off hers. And it went on like that for what seemed like hours until they were together in bed, naked. He thought he could love her. He wondered if he did love her already. And he wondered if she felt the same way.
When the kitchen noises stop, he gets up, slips on his boxers, and tiptoes into the living room where he sees her sitting peacefully on the doorstep. She’s completely bathed in the sun’s light. As she eats toast and drinks coffee, she seems to be laughing… a sweet, silent laughter.
He wants to bother her. To tell her that he’s hungry too, and that he wouldn’t mind sharing a slice of her toast. But he doesn’t. Because she seems so happy and free… the way it should be. So instead he stands in the doorway and admires her from a distance. And he thinks about the fact that she isn’t his… that she will never be his. And that it’s OK.
Because she just said, “I’m in love.”
Real love never limits you… it doesn’t restrict you… it doesn't try to change you… it doesn’t entitle you, or anyone, to anything.
People are sometimes led to have a sense of entitlement because they mistakenly believe they are owed something based solely on the social role they have chosen. For example, if someone has accepted the role of being a person’s friend, girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, or husband, they feel entitled to get certain ‘favors’ from this person. If someone has accepted the role of being a parent, they feel entitled to being respected by their children. If someone has accepted the role of being a customer, they feel entitled to be served to their unique needs.
But, as it turns out, there are no hard-wired entitlements in life. And this is especially true of love.
Too often we associate love with limitations…
Real love is un-limited.
Real love is freedom.
In fact, it is only by letting each other be free, that two people can be completely each other’s. When we are not forced, or tied, or pressured in a relationship, we can more easily see and remember the most perfect parts…
You might spend time with the person you love and catch yourself thinking, “He (or she) is perfect for me!”
Not perfect in their behaviors, or in their beliefs, or in their looks. Rather, perfect in the way they fit into your life, the way their rough edges fill the gaps between your own, the way their body rests against yours, the way both your voices flow together in harmony, the way you make each other feel complete, even when you are apart.
And this completeness ripples through every aspect of your lives. You both feel alive and full of incredible joy. And you are eager and excited and can’t wait to find a hundred little things that will make you feel even more alive, now that you have felt how deeply you can breathe the fresh air of freedom. You can clearly see that there are no definitive limits, and you laugh together about the fact that you both once thought there were, and then you laugh again simply because you are free to BE… together, or apart.
In this freedom, you choose to find divine perfection in each other’s humanness.
In this freedom, your happiness is vital to each other and sacrifices are made
And, that may not always mean you are part of the equation.
And that’s perfectly OK.
For you, that is why it feels so incredible to love, and to be loved.
Because the love you feel is a choice.
Because real love gives you that choice.
You both know deep down that to bind each other or tie each other or try to own each other in any way would be to minimize – to even kill – something within yourselves that is divine, and human, and soars and sings and keeps you both alive and free… and asks for nothing, yet gives everything.
You both know that the moment you try to own each other is the moment you both become something else, other than what was sought, and desired, and loved in the first place.
So you choose to set each other free – completely unattached – even when you’re deeply connected.
This form of non-attachment does not mean not caring. On the contrary, it means, among other
things, caring so deeply that you both honor each other’s space and freedom… to simply BE.
Truly caring for your purpose.
I came across this article from one of my emails and as I read it, it was as though it was coming from me, that meant I resonated with what it was saying.
Id like to share it with you enjoy.
The Girl in the Mirror
She looks at herself in the full-length mirror that hangs from her bedroom wall. Completely naked and exposed, yet confident. She’s older than she was five years ago, but feels much younger. And she thinks momentarily about the different men who held her in front of this mirror.They thought they possessed her. They thought she was theirs. Because she was in their arms, so delicate and sweet. But really she possessed them. Because she possesses the space in front of the mirror. And the moments that occur there too.
She gazes down at the man lying naked in her bed. But he’s not just another man. For the first time in years, this one sleeps differently. With a subtle smile, a dash of poise, and a history free of envy. And she smiles and giggles to herself.
Just then, he stirs, slowly lifts his head, squints his eyes, and looks at her standing across the room, naked in front of the mirror. His movement startles her and she jumps. Not because he sees her naked, but because she isn’t ready for him to be awake. Not yet.
This is her time, the early morning, when the world is quiet and she can hear the sound of her own breathing. It’s a sacred time when answers and insights aren’t as hard to come by. A time when her mind is at peace and her heart beats slower. And it begins beating slower again. Because he closes his eyes and falls back asleep.
She slips on her robe, tiptoes into the kitchen, pours coffee grounds and water into the coffee maker, places two slices of bread in the toaster, and opens the window curtains. The warm, early morning sun floods into her home. A few minutes later, the toaster pops. She spreads strawberry jam on the toast, pours a cup of coffee, opens the front door, and sits down on the doorstep.
And she thinks about how happy she is. Happy to simply be. To be free. To not be tied down by another person or have another person tied down by her. She stares up at the morning sky for a prolonged moment and smiles.
“I’m in love,” she says aloud.
The Guy in the Bed
He hasn’t fallen back asleep. When he lifts his head, squints his eyes, and sees her standing naked in front of the mirror, he senses that she isn’t yet ready for him to join her. So he closes his eyes and pretends to sleep.He listens as she giggles, slips on her robe, tiptoes into the kitchen, and rattles the toaster, the coffee maker, and the curtains. He loves these little noises… Noises he calls music.
Like the music of last night, when they talked and laughed for hours over a bottle of wine. Until unexpectedly, she kissed him. And then he kissed her back. Because of her philosophy and her beauty.
She took off his shirt. He took off hers. And it went on like that for what seemed like hours until they were together in bed, naked. He thought he could love her. He wondered if he did love her already. And he wondered if she felt the same way.
When the kitchen noises stop, he gets up, slips on his boxers, and tiptoes into the living room where he sees her sitting peacefully on the doorstep. She’s completely bathed in the sun’s light. As she eats toast and drinks coffee, she seems to be laughing… a sweet, silent laughter.
He wants to bother her. To tell her that he’s hungry too, and that he wouldn’t mind sharing a slice of her toast. But he doesn’t. Because she seems so happy and free… the way it should be. So instead he stands in the doorway and admires her from a distance. And he thinks about the fact that she isn’t his… that she will never be his. And that it’s OK.
Because she just said, “I’m in love.”
The Thing Real Love Never Does to You
Perhaps the story above makes it clear, or perhaps not, but in either case it’s important to remember that…Real love never limits you… it doesn’t restrict you… it doesn't try to change you… it doesn’t entitle you, or anyone, to anything.
People are sometimes led to have a sense of entitlement because they mistakenly believe they are owed something based solely on the social role they have chosen. For example, if someone has accepted the role of being a person’s friend, girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, or husband, they feel entitled to get certain ‘favors’ from this person. If someone has accepted the role of being a parent, they feel entitled to being respected by their children. If someone has accepted the role of being a customer, they feel entitled to be served to their unique needs.
But, as it turns out, there are no hard-wired entitlements in life. And this is especially true of love.
Too often we associate love with limitations…
- “If he loves me, he will change.”
- “If she loves me, she will do what I say.”
- etc.
Real love is un-limited.
Real love is freedom.
In fact, it is only by letting each other be free, that two people can be completely each other’s. When we are not forced, or tied, or pressured in a relationship, we can more easily see and remember the most perfect parts…
You might spend time with the person you love and catch yourself thinking, “He (or she) is perfect for me!”
Not perfect in their behaviors, or in their beliefs, or in their looks. Rather, perfect in the way they fit into your life, the way their rough edges fill the gaps between your own, the way their body rests against yours, the way both your voices flow together in harmony, the way you make each other feel complete, even when you are apart.
And this completeness ripples through every aspect of your lives. You both feel alive and full of incredible joy. And you are eager and excited and can’t wait to find a hundred little things that will make you feel even more alive, now that you have felt how deeply you can breathe the fresh air of freedom. You can clearly see that there are no definitive limits, and you laugh together about the fact that you both once thought there were, and then you laugh again simply because you are free to BE… together, or apart.
In this freedom, you choose to find divine perfection in each other’s humanness.
In this freedom, your happiness is vital to each other and sacrifices are made
And, that may not always mean you are part of the equation.
And that’s perfectly OK.
For you, that is why it feels so incredible to love, and to be loved.
Because the love you feel is a choice.
Because real love gives you that choice.
You both know deep down that to bind each other or tie each other or try to own each other in any way would be to minimize – to even kill – something within yourselves that is divine, and human, and soars and sings and keeps you both alive and free… and asks for nothing, yet gives everything.
You both know that the moment you try to own each other is the moment you both become something else, other than what was sought, and desired, and loved in the first place.
So you choose to set each other free – completely unattached – even when you’re deeply connected.
This form of non-attachment does not mean not caring. On the contrary, it means, among other
things, caring so deeply that you both honor each other’s space and freedom… to simply BE.
Truly caring for your purpose.
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